Hurmm...Good morning everyone..For god sake, today I woke up very early which I never did for the past few months...hahaha...I woke up at about 5.45am Malaysia's Time..I started my day with few slices of breads with Tuna inside...owh ya with a glass of fresh milk...thanks to my mom..she's so wonderful and always love her children...For your information..here in my house suppose we have 7 family members including my parents..But due to life commitment..2 of my brothers need to move for job purpose and their commitments...and as you all know it before, my little sister still missing and till now we still didn't got any news regarding her disappearance..oklah...There are times where I just began the process of stripping down my life part by part. You take this whole big picture about your life and then start breaking them down one by one. Peeling the outer layers first; the image we portray to people, the clothes we wear and the stuff we buy to make us look good, to enable us to conform to society, or perhaps if we are adventurous enough we see how we can stand out in society. In a way that earns society’s respect. What the heck? I always ask myself about this..
Then I start tearing apart the inner parts, my inner circle. The inner circle of friends, inner circle of thoughts, stuff that really mean a lot to you. Memorable occasions, memories you cherish and even experiences you love. Notes people wrote to encourage you, things that friends spoke to you about and really impacted you. Yeah sure they built you up as a person. They shaped the way you look at the world now. And then this is where it always hits me the hardest. So are friends gonna be the only thing you hold on to forever? What happens when everyone moves on? Come on, am I gonna keep dwelling on the thoughts that remind me of the past happiness or am I gonna keep stepping out in faith and believe that God truly provides His grace one step at the time, at a level we can comprehend?
At the end of the day, all I always picture is just me standing before God. Coming to the realization that all that remains is God’s love and our relationship with Him. Earth will fade but His love will still remain. Just before you sink into that sorry emo state, you take one last glance and see that glimmer of hope. For the whole thinking process you replay those feelings of having the entire world crumble before your very tiny eyes. This is where I find desperation, this is where I know I need something real to hold on to prevent me from falling. And yet there’s only one place I know I can go...~~peace~~
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